Norovirus is the the last thing to worry about on a cruise through the Seven Kingdoms. If the white walkers don’t get you, then the Boltons probably will. But the scenery and exotic locales of the Game of Thrones world make the risk of death and dismemberment (almost) worth it. HBO films its series in some of the furthest reaches of Europe, from Iceland to Croatia, and inspired us to create a “faux” travel promo made almost entirely of stock.

We used actual shots of iconic Ice and Fire filming locations—including where Daenerys and Drogo tied the knot—to parody the classic formula of a tourism promo, drawing on luxury cruise commercials as creative inspiration (ahem, Viking River Cruises). To complete the package, we used royalty-free music for a background track and vector graphics for the “Ice and Fire Cruises” sigil.

Here’s a sample of the GOT destination footage that we included:


Watch our Game of Thrones cruise promo.

Those who have yet to make summer vacation plans could “cut loose at the Dreadfort” or “take the family to romantic Casterly Rock,” as our Cersei-inspired narrator explains.

The concept of a GOT cruise is not entirely unrealistic since most shooting locations are accessible by boat. In fact, Crystal Cruises attempted to do just that with a half-day Game of Thrones tour to key locations in Northern Ireland. But what we’d really love to see is an epic month-long trip through the every Thrones destination—dragons included.

Similar to the way that Lord of the Rings draws thousands of questers to New Zealand every year, a real-life version of this cruise could bring troves of GOT fans to kingdom-doubles for Dorne and King’s Landing.

Though you can’t cruise the Seven Kingdoms in real life, you can download all of the stock footage from this video. So, make like George R.R. Martin and try crafting the medieval fantasy of your nightmares.

Hodor Hodor Hodor!

Translation: Hold the stock footage!